If your dreams don’t scare you …
If your dreams don’t scare you …
They’re not BIG enough!!
I think it’s a beautiful statement. It always reminds me to dream even bigger.
And it also helps me realize that I may find it scary exciting when I set a big goal for myself. Because that is logical and quite normal. And that this does not mean that I should NOT do it. Because that’s the conclusion we can all quickly draw. It doesn’t feel right so I shouldn’t do it.
But that feeling is usually not your intuition or inner knowing, but your fear that comes over you and creates fear-related sensations in your body. And sometimes fear can be much more dominant than intuition in most people.
When you find something scary or even terrifying, it often means that you are on the right track and that you should do it. If it brings at least some kind of ‘excitement’. As if you can already feel how happy and proud you will be when you have accomplished it.
Somehow we have created the illusion that chasing dreams should only come with ease and good feelings. That’s not true.
Yes, big dreams should bring a certain sense of ‘excitement’, flow and satisfaction as said, but that is no guarantee for only roses and sunshine.
My experience is that you often have to work hard for it as well and it can feel really challenging You may wonder what you’re doing it for. And you will very likely meet your inner gremlins!
I see this happening very often with my clients. When I help women to get clear on their Soul’s Life Purpose, I often hear them say ‘I’m stuck because I haven’t got it clear yet’, even if they have already written it down in very clear words.
“I just don’t know!” they say.
Let me tell you about Kelly. We were walking in the woods, where I sometimes like to go with my clients, to have nature and tranquility help them tap into deeper layers of themselves. I complimented her on the assignment she had prepared, how clearly she had already expressed her vision of the future. She replied with some mumbling and muttering as resistance, fears and limiting beliefs came up. When I inquired about what was happening, Kelly had quite a few excuses ready:
“Maybe I should go for… (something safer than what she wrote on it).
I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens to my current work …
Next year, the youngest one will also be in school, I think it’s better if I wait until then take the next step…”
All her all old defense mechanisms were surfacing. It was her mind that undermined her heart. Actually the ego took over, afraid of change and preferring to keep everything the same. The old, the safe, the familiar.
Can you relate?
So this wasn’t getting her anywhere. No one will get very far with their old fear patterns.
That is why it is important to identify your those fears and limiting beliefs, because you will encounter them in all areas of your life! And let’s be honest, do they help you or do they just slam the brakes on your dreams?
And we know that by now, don’t we? That we have to deal with our fears and limiting beliefs?
But there’s something else.
Besides identifying and healing your fears and beliefs, it’s just as important to tap into your yearnings. To make your desires bigger than you fears.
First you have to get clear on your desires, and the more concrete the better. Then it is important to feel that inspiration, the passion, the drive in your heart, your belly, actually in every cell and every fiber of your body, so that your fears don’t stand a chance.
So, if you are someone who often runs into these limitations when you set yourself a goal:
- You keep coming up with excuses for not taking action
- You keep telling yourself it’s not clear yet (is also an excuse)
- You tend to over-analyze it (analysis paralysis)
- The perfectionist in you first wants the whole picture mapped out
- Deep inside you are afraid of change and you secretly feel safe in your comfort zone (unconsciously this is true for most of us; humans don’t like change).
- Your stay in the “What if…”…” thoughts and the doom scenarios are running the show
- Your goals seem rationally very well thought out but you don’t feel it
Then I’d like to give you the following advice, too:
Make your desires greater than your fears!
So what happened with Kelly?
By investigating her fears she was able to see how unrealistic and untrue they were. By clearing them out of her system one by one, she created space for her big WHY to come through. That’s when she was ready to take the first steps towards her dreams. She decided to leave her corporate job in HR and to continue her career as a freelance consultant doing the projects she loved to do.
If you’re ready to connect with your Soul’s Purpose, book your complimentary Soul Alignment Session with me. We will uncover what your blocks are to having the business and life you always dreamed of.